Robert Scotellaro

Sample a Story

THE HORNS

He said he was a rodeo clown, and it was harder than it looked. Sometimes you had to climb inside a barrel to keep from getting the horns. “But life ain’t like that.” He took in another shot of whisky as though it was a last breath.

“Like what?” she said.

“Barrels to hide in. You get the horns.”

She turned to her own drink, then up at the TV high above the cathedral of booze bottles. A guy was throwing a ball and another guy was catching it. A third stood over the catcher’s shoulder and gauged where it stopped. Her feet were killing her. All day at the dollar store ringing up crap. Felt like they were puffing out of her shoes. Some tough guy, she thought. Even the best of them were little boys inside, lookin’ for a mommy to put a Band-Aid on something or other.

“It’s what you make it,” she heard herself say, crossing her legs and letting a high heel dangle from her toes. He stared down from over his drink for a moment, then said, “Bullshit.”

“Let’s not bring up work,” she said, and he smiled. A lopsided, tough-guy grin. And she wondered how deep the horns were in. Hoped he had a nice place. But was long past being picky. She put her hand on his knee and he seemed to like that. Hell, she had a purse full of Band-Aids and a night full of time.

The three guys on the TV were still at it. Throwing, catching, and looking down at the ball like its sudden appearance was a big surprise. She wondered if the one with the big stick was actually going to do something worth doing. Or just stand there.

Praise for What Are the Chances?

Dip into What Are the Chances? for lightning-quick glimpses into the human soul: an eldercare worker with an uncanny ability to finish sentences, an alluring woman in a squid mask, a couple who make love in front of funhouse mirrors, skateboarders in an empty swimming pool, a mockingbird making a fuss with a throat full of stolen music, a hit man in retirement. Here are promises, anticipations, titillations, regrets.

—Jane Ciabattari, BBC Culture, The Literary Hub

In What Are the Chances? Robert Scotellaro offers us spelunkers and pot-smoking nuns and birthday party clowns—and much, much more. In a heartbeat, we spiral into lives both ordinary yet on the edge of change and danger, and over the course of just a few pages, he lays bare damaged hearts and offers connections as tenuous as they are tender. His characters are flawed, yes, but they keep trying, reaching out for reconciliation and understanding, winning us over as they stumble toward a kind of imperfect grace. These stories might be small, but they pack a heavyweight’s punch. Scotellaro is truly a master of the flash fiction form.

—Curtis Smith, author of The Magpie’s Return

Robert Scotellaro has given us a gift with this collection of taut, stunning prose. Each piece is a marvel. The characters, and the situations they find themselves in, are thrilling, unique and immensely entertaining. In seconds he can get your pulse throbbing, or put your anxiety at ease. Scotellaro displays a mastery of the short form.

—Len Kuntz, author of I’m Not Supposed to Be Here and Neither Are You

Each time I have the pleasure of reading a collection by Robert Scotellaro, I marvel at his ability to create so many unique and diverse miniature worlds. In What Are the Chances? he holds up multiple fun house mirrors, which continually reflect the sometimes distorted but very real lives of his characters as they navigate small, charged spaces. Scotellaro artfully magnifies detailed moments, assigning them huge import, and does so in his own miraculous way.

—Tara Lynn Masih, Founding Series Editor of The Best Small Fictions and author of My Real Name Is Hanna

In What are the Chances? Robert Scotellaro once again secures his place as a solid master of micro-fiction. Each story an adventure with the likes of rogue Uber drivers, breakdancing butchers, and skydiving grandmas. Each story told with the ever-present undertone of Scotellaro wisdom and charm. Each story perfectly complete while bursting out of its container to lock imaginations with the reader. And each story one you are not likely to forget any time soon.

—Francine Witte, author of The Way of the Wind and Dressed All Wrong for This